Articles on Forgiveness

Ancient Venting (Must Read for Pastors) Bill Senyard (2010)
In Exodus 16, we see significant– very sophisticated insight into the human heart. Fellow pastors, we really must learn that anger from the very people who we serve– complaining, venting, charges, gossip, slander, etc. are almost never to be taken at face value. Before we can forgive false charges and reconcile, we need to understand what happened. So instead of reacting tit for tat– which is what my heart yearns to do– to restore my dignity and reputation– we should take a few deep breaths, calm down and then be open to doing some relatively objective due diligence. We must develop better means and approaches to dig deeper into the heart motivations of the antagonist, the perpetrator…Continue Reading

Dark Days of Christmas Bill Senyard (2007)
I read a very insightful book by Terry Hargrave, Families and Forgiveness: Healing Wounds in the Intergenerational Family (New York:Brunner/Mazel Publishers, 1994). Very insightful and on point with the philosophy held by this website. It is particularly helpful to help us understand why so often our high expectations of wonderful romantic family Holiday gatherings don’t materialize. Hargrave would say that affected families have lost interpersonal ‘trustworthiness’…Continue Reading

Forgiveness by Maimonides Bill Senyard (2008)
Western forgiveness intervention models (e.g., Worthington, Enright) are clearly ‘victim’ focused. Researches have found that unforgiving victims tend to suffer from maladies such as heart issues, depression, etc. So intervention models were designed to bring some healing to the victim by cognitive therapy so that they can unilaterally ‘forgive’ the perpetrator. Facilitators have observed and published significant successes in victim healing. My problem with this approach is not that they are unsuccessful in what they attempt to accomplish. They appear to be quite helpful in facilitating some healing of specifically the victim– measurably so. My problem is that for the most part, the offender and the larger community are– for the most part, ignored. These models are highly individualistic and utilitarian…Continue Reading

Forgiveness in the Jewish High Holy Days This post was written by Bill on Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
Though I am not a Jew I have gained an appreciation for the Jewish religious season that we have just now completed. For a Jew, there is no time of the year more important than the High Holy Days (HHDs)– beginning at the blowing of the shophar at Rosh Hashanah (Sept 13) and culminating in the grand party of Sukkoth (Sept 15-Oct 3)…Continue Reading

Going Dark Well Bill Senyard (2007)
For many, the winter season can be a very dark time. The holidays with their high expectations of a bright star, joy and decorated sugar cookies can quickly end up with darkness, anger and Zoloft. Experts warn us of the phenomenon called Seasonal Affective Disorder (appropriately ‘SAD’ for short). Some call it the ‘Winter Blues’. This is of course only further bad news for those who already struggle with depression throughout the year. It happens in the darker days of winter when the days are short and the skies generally sunless—ugly cold overcast. SAD can deeply affect one’s emotions and lead to more serious depression—with subsequent longer-term negative consequences to relationships…Continue Reading

Happy Rosh Hashanah! I think? This post was written by Bill on Wednesday, September 26th, 2007
Do you mean that it is more than a day off of school? Oh yes. This is the season in the Jewish calendar that is brilliant and potentially very powerful, community shaping and healing. Maybe – just maybe—this is one of the reasons that the Jewish community has survived and thrived over the millennia amid stiff oppression…Continue Reading

Have the Amish really forgiven? This post was written by Bill on Monday, November 13th, 2006
“We have to forgive. We have to forgive him in order for God to forgive us.”
So said an anonymous Amish woman shortly after the tragic shooting in Paradise Township. This is heroic and humble—but horribly wrongheaded obedience. Gentle woman, even God Himself doesn’t forgive apart from complete payment for crimes. The Cross represents Jesus’ total and complete payment for all crimes before God will forgive any. The only forgiveness that the Biblical God knows is forgiveness that is subsequent to perfect justice accomplished. Why would God ask you to be more magnanimous than Him? Forgiveness requires justice with honor…Continue Reading

Mid-East Turmoil Bill Senyard (2008)
It is a mess in the middle east. There is an enmeshed conflict at just about all levels. Socio-economic, religious, personal and historic bitterness at mistreatments and past issues– and of course just flat out bigotry. We in the West are more and more aware that we are not getting the entire picture from the media (no conspiracy theory fodder meant at all– just the nature of the beast)…Continue Reading

Narcissists can’t forgive! (Bill Senyard 2010)
OK, put this in the category of ‘No kidding!’  According to a 2004 study by Julie Exline (et al) published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Vol 87, 2004), narcissism is a “robust distinct predictor of unforgiveness”.  It would seem that the narcissisist’s innate expectation of special treatment and preoccupation of defending their own rights, make them terrible candidates to forgive and forget…Continue Reading

Pearson’s Pants Predicament Bill Senyard (2007)
Who can’t relate to this? I mean if you have ever taken clothes to dry cleaners, you probably have lost some clothes. Or at least was afraid that they would lose them. All you have to prove your loss is a measly claim ticket—which I for one, keep losing. When that happens, you feel betrayed, vulnerable, helpless really. It is the same feeling that you get when an airline loses your luggage, or when a natural disaster destroys items valuable to you…Continue Reading

Scandalous Good News Bill Senyard (2008)
Let me couch the ‘good news’ in Biblical narrative terminology. From the immediate moment of the fall of mankind in the Garden of Eden in Gen 4 — nothing – nothing at all moved mankind one inch closer to Eden– none of the acts of Abraham, Moses, Noah, David– not even Job! The only movement occured at the single Cross of Jesus Christ. Everything else– all that was labelled as ‘good’, ‘righteous’ or ‘pious’ were ony tragic human flailings—views of ‘right’ of ‘goodness’ that are more the fruit of the fall than of any tree in Eden…Continue Reading

Spain Legally Declares the Value of a Person Bill Senyard (2007)
I find the recent verdict in the Spain terrorism trial fascinating. On Halloween, 21 out of the 28 defendants of the March 2004 bombing that left 190 dead and 1800 injured were found guilty of various legal aspects of terrorism. Three of the defendants received sentences of 34,000 to 43,000 years in jail. Wow. Now that’s what I’m talking about! That means that the jury valued the persons murdered in the range of 179-226 years per individual…Continue Reading

“Sterile” Congressional Apology for Slavery Unacceptable Bill Senyard (2009)
I resonate with DeWayne Wickham’s article in June 23 USA TODAY, ‘Congress needs to make a full confession on slavery”…Continue Reading

The Anatomy of a Murder Argument (Bill Senyard 2010)
Mary blurts out to her significant other, “ I felt disrespected by your comment.” Note: ‘Mary’ is not a real person, maybe more of a composite of a variety of people that I have known, in a variety of sexes, ages, marital statuses– or if I were honest– seen in the mirror.  Mary is not necessarily a female.  She could be Mark or Mike—but this caricature is – I hope– helpful in this case to provide a recognizable image that people would most naturally relate to.
Her significant other—let’s call him Bob—has heard this tone before, seen this look on Mary’s emotionless, in control game-face…Continue Reading

The Art of Taking Offense per Fyodor Karamazov Bill Senyard (2009)
So often, we have self-inflicted offenses that we take to heart, that are perhaps not real at all. Dostoevsky is stunningly insightful in his Brothers Karamazov. The righteous Father Zossima is speaking to the worthless profligate father of the Karamazov clan, Fyodor— who has come with the rest of the family into audience with the aged saint— to nominally find family peace and reconciliation—but in fact– Fyodor has just to make a shameful scene— to act the buffoon as he hypocritically caricatures himself….Continue Reading

Solidarity and the End of White Privilege (Bill Senyard 2007)
I was recently at a student chapel of a well known Midwestern Christian college; sponsored by a student group called ‘Solidarity’.  It is my sense that Solidarity desired to expose the student body (majority of which is white, European descent) to an ugly residual racism that still lingers in the shadows, not only in the world, but also in the US and more to their point— even just beneath the Christian surface on their very campus.  It wasn’t a blatant anger of class or race…Continue Reading

The Great Divorce (Chap 8, p. 60-61 Harper Collins Edition 2001)
Conversation between one of the heavenly ‘Spirits’ sent to guide a human ‘ghost’ (someone who had just died) from ‘hell’ to heaven.  The ‘Solid Ones’ or ‘Bright People’ are those who have also died but then run toward God and are at last given substance that was lacking in their earthly existence; the substance that they had worked so hard to replicate while they were alive—looking for love, identity, worth, value in all the wrong places.  This ‘substance’ appears to onlookers like a royal robe of glorious light.  The absence of this ‘solid’ is shame…Continue Reading

The Judgment of Paris Bill Senyard (2007)
This is beyond nuts. The vast majority of North America (reportedly) cringed to hear that Paris Hilton is out! “Injustice!” some cried. “Favoritism”, moaned others. “Unfair!” “She isn’t getting what she deserved!”…Continue Reading

The Shack Bill Senyard (2008)
I just finished reading William P. Young’s, ‘The Shack’ (Thanks Chris M. for the heads up). I highly recommend this provocative novel/allegory. It is about a father whose daughter is tragically kidnapped at a family vacation. The book offers a compassionate, very sensitive presentation of the wildly ranging emotional turmoil and mourning involved in such a vast loss— the feeling ’stuck’ in “The Great Sadness’. But it doesn’t stop there. It goes on to invite the father (and the reader) into a stunning healing journey that intimately involves the entirety of the Triune God…Continue Reading

Unforgiveness Kills (Bill Senyard 2010)
It kills us as people.  Recent studies have shown that couples who are harboring resent have higher cortisol levels in their blood.  Cortisol is normally a good thing to our body, but if left at high levels for extended periods can lead to illness, fatigue, depression, or perhaps more serious physical breakdowns.  One researcher summed it up, “Everytime you feel unforgiveness, you are more likely to develop a health problem.”…Continue Reading